It's quiet in my house right now. It is 6:30 a.m., and my family are all asleep. Peace reigns. Calm before the storm. In just a matter of a few hours, my three lively boys will wake up, perhaps one or two of them a little grumpy, but at least one of them will be happy. My husband will rouse himself out of slumber once he hears them making noise, and most definitely, they will make noise.
I just finished reading Joshua and began Judges today. I read the first two chapters, and one thing stuck with me as I closed my Bible and took out my prayer journal. That one thing was this: Every single time a judge died, the children of Israel would stop following God and do more evil than before. That hit me hard. The Israelites relationship with God was based on the judges, not on themselves. And that caused me to think about my own children and their walks with Jesus.
Oh, I know my boys are young. 10, 8, and 7 are still pretty young to have a deep walk with the Lord. I know they love going to church, to Modern Day Knights, and to VBS. Gage actually told me this last week he wants to go to more than one this year. I know they read their Bibles when we have school during the week. I love to hear their sweet voices come before the throne of God at least once a day. There is just something about hearing your child talking to God! I love it!
I know I shouldn't worry about this right now, but I am a mom who desperately desires her kiddos to serve God. I don't want their walk with the Lord, their relationship with Him, to be based on mine. I want them to want to have their own relationship with Jesus. I want them to want to read the Bible, to pray daily, continuously. I want them to have a deep and passionate love for Jesus and to follow Him, no matter what the cost. I can't make them do these things. This has to be something they want for themselves, without me making them do it. And they can't have my walk with Christ, either. It has to be their own, personal, unique to who they are. I pray constantly for them to follow the Lord. I pray they will always love Him. I do my best to guide them and show them how, but in the end, when they leave our home and make one of their own, it is their choice to follow the God I serve.
Right now, I know they do. Two days ago, they were talking about the Rapture. Gavin was asking Gage questions about how it was going to happen. It was really cute to hear those two talking back and forth about it. Yes, right now, they have a 7,8, and 10 year old understanding of God. They have asked Jesus into their hearts already, and did so at a young age. Every summer, they ask Jesus into their hearts (mostly at VBS). Every year, they recommit themselves to the Lord, and I pray they will choose to love and serve Him every day of their lives.
I don't want them to be like the Israelites, walking away from the Lord if something bad happens or if Chris or myself were to die. I want them to keep their eyes focused on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. I want them to passionately pursue the One who created them, who loves them, and who gave His life for them. This is my biggest desire, my strongest and most heartfelt prayer.